Rebuilding takes time, but each small step I take helps conquer the doubt and darkness along the way.

This week you can find me racing at the  Exergy Tour.  The biggest race in the USA and one of the biggest in the world.   I will be ready for the unexpected and for the step back into a UCI stage race.  I find it best to have no expectations, enjoy the ride, and keep building, one block at a time.  There is nothing quite as humbling as the unknown road of an injury, but there is nothing as encouraging as moving forward.

Thank you for the support.

Check out the CyclingNews article here.

Photo By Jon Devich

Some days it is because the result is pivotal for a later selection, and it is do or die.  Win.  Make the break.  Get the pick.  Other days it is because you feel like a million dollars and your friends are watching.  You want to beat them up the climb for your own personal world championships or Strava KOM on a humble Tuesday morning ride.  Yet even other days it is those personal successes when no one is around.  It is only the landscape that witnesses your “big show”.  Whether it is a local TT, a twilight crit, the national championships, the Giro Donne, or a solo training ride that you just feel like you clearly won the big prize…it all can be interpreted as the “big show”.

I love the “big show”, no matter what form it takes.

I love my personal world championships, when no one is looking, and I win.  In my mind, I win it all.  A trophy the size of France, a champagne bottle the size of my (5’1″ )teammate Coryn, and podium men in full regalia.  I love my local TT race where I compete against myself and whoever else I verify as my competition (for goodness sake, it is called a “smackdown” for a reason).

Yet, yesterday was an entirely different experience.  It was the “big show”.  Thousands of fans, and a terrific 18.4 mile time trial course under the blistering sun and hair dryer wind of Bakersfield and the Amgen Tour of California.  We were racing for prize money.  We were racing for representation.  We were racing because we could.  We were racing because there was a start line and there was a finish line in place.  We were racing to merely race.  We were racing because we love to battle each other and the clock.

AEG Worldwide stepped up to the plate once again and invited 10 elite women for the AEG Amgen Tour of California Women’s Invitational Time Trial.  It was an invite to the “big show”.  The tents were even bigger than anything we have at a women’s race, and better even they were filled with fans and food.  There was nowhere to hide on the course, and only the strong survived.  The terrain appeared to be used in an end of the world film, and as you were finishing the time trial you believed it.  The world was surely ending.

While DZ won the men’s TT, KStrong won the women’s.  I placed 4th and would love to do it again to find those 10s necessary for that podium.  10s in 30k.  I know where they are, but the hard thing about a time trial is that you are never satisfied.  Why stop at only 10s?  Why not more?  You always want more.  More speed.  More preparation.  More power.  More time to make it right.

It was the “big show” yesterday, and it was a great milestone to build into the rest of my year.  I was honored to be there among such elite time trialists, and cannot thank AEG enough for providing us the opportunity to race.  We love to race our bikes, and we love to represent women’s cycling.  Thank you for all the well wishes, the support, and the cheers on the way yesterday from either Bakersfield or afar.  I took each note to heart and used it to fuel the fire on a sweltering day in the sun.

I am already planning my next “big show”, and who knows, maybe the world will be watching, or maybe it will be no one else but me and my thoughts.  Next time you recognize that “big show” feeling, embrace it.  Just don’t slip off the start ramp on your way.

Shameless plug?  Maybe.  But really because I love it, and so should you!

Now, it appears I have a time trial to go to at the Amgen Tour of California.  I am stoked to be a part of the Women’s Invitational TT, presented by AEG Worldwide.

When looking at some of my acquired scars over the last couple of years, some bring feelings of triumph, and some still bring that stinging pain of disappointment.  I don’t want to be told that each scar was worth the pain, and I don’t want to be told I am tough.  I don’t take pride in them, they are just a reality.  They are a part of me, whether they were in France on a bike, or my arm in the oven getting Brussels sprouts.  They are just a fact of life.

I hope to forget some of them, but it seems the ones that you really wish never happened are permanently tattooed not only on your body but also your heart.  As they fade away with time, that pungent reminder of the destruction also fades.

Some scars are comical, and some are tragic.  Regardless, I am not sure if chicks dig scars or not.  I have accepted some of my scars, and still wish others weren’t there.  The good news is that they are all healed, and the reality is, there will be more.  That’s life.

And no, I haven’t created any new cycling scars recently, I am just reminiscing.

1. KStrong is fast. Just plain fast. Ramping up? She is on fire and London bound.  She is so fast it is scary.  She won Stage 1, then proceeded to win Stage 2, 3, and 5.  Good thing she is my teammate.
2. My stunt double teammate, Tayler, fought her way into the Best Young Rider’s jersey. Big heart, big effort, huge result.  So proud of her.
3. We won GC, Overall Team, Queen of the Mountains, and Best Young Rider.  That’s a lot of jerseys.
4. Altitude is still hard to race in, and should be avoided at all cost.
5. The Tour of the Gila is one of the hardest races in the country.  Remind me of this before I “sign up” next year.

I call it SRAM Red.

Double Take.

I got quite a bit of double takes today.

In the spirit of Mother’s Day, I raced a local race in the men’s field.  What that has to do with Mother’s Day, I couldn’t exactly tell you.  Believe me, racing with the men made me want to call my mom several times. Boys can ride really fast, but that’s what makes it worth it.

How men handle a woman in their field is always very interesting.  Some embrace the entrance of a different gender into their race.  They must get sick of just staring at each other all the time, and I didn’t mind the change of venue either.  Others get a little aggressive, and then there are those that simply do not know how to react and proceed to stumble over a comment or just ignore me and pretend the blonde braid is a normal sighting within their peloton.  All are fair reactions.  There were several double takes. 

Unfortunately, it is hard for me to blend in within the field, but I promised the motor official I would be quiet, not giggle too much, and behave myself.  I just needed the training.  He made sure of it.  It wasn’t until a man floated to the back to take a nature break, and I tried to stifle a laugh and get around him.  His response, “Whoa, what are you doing here? I didn’t know there was a lady here!” He apologized profusely.  At least chivalry is not dead.  Proceed, by all means; don’t let me get in the way.

It is all good training and bike racing is fun.  I always enjoy going along for the ride.  The racing is hard but the wheels are smooth.  The conversation, when there is some, is still entertaining as well.  Who knew those guys were just as concerned with their weight, what they eat, and their leg veins as the next guy.  Oh, and they can go really fast, hence I thought about calling my mom several times to come pick me up.  Ouch. 

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom, I was thinking about you today, and I hope all these guys went home and thanked those that let them come out and race early on a Sunday morning as well!  Never forget to thank your support team! And thank you, guys for letting me join.  I didn’t mind the double takes.  I didn’t mind the training. 

But I still do think I had the best manicure out there.

Altitude. Winds. Heat. Snow. It’s got it all, and we have only done two stages so far.

You can go up to altitude to acclimate.  You can try to do VO2 max efforts while only breathing through a coffee stirring straw.  You can purchase wind tunnel time and try to ride into a 45mph head wind to get a taste.  You can go to the desert until your skin get scaly and cracked like a lizard.  You can try to turn yourself into a mountain goat that thrives on climbs and oxygen deprivation.

Or, you could just suck up your pride and go to the Tour of the Gila.  Bam.

What did I do in preparation?

Trinity to Spring Mtn.

I got to ride with one of my most favorite teammates ever, Lauren Tamayo.  If I am allowed to be infatuated with her, I will be.  Cheer for her at the London 2012 Olympics on the track with USA! *insert applause*  The ride was well worth her flight across the country.

I got to work on my tan lines at Sea Otter at my first bigger race of the year.  And yes, I put a SRAM frog tattoo on my arm.  I am tough.  Toughness surely will help at Gila.

Now on to the next stage.  Hope the preparation helps.

Gravel in my Travel.

Just like a country song, I have been putting some “gravel in my travel”, and I am ready to tackle the next obstacle, regardless of the road terrain.  A red dirt road, or a big mountain.  Bring it on.

We can prepare for what the course has to offer us, but then we must always expect the unexpected.  How cliche.  No matter how you much you prepare, the plans can still go awry.  And that is when life happens.  It happens between the start line and the finish line.  Win, lose, or draw.  It is just life.

Winning the Chico Stage Race.

Outside the protected bubble of cycling, of work, of family, there is a big world out there.  Regardless if a deal doesn’t go through, you get dropped on a group ride, or it rains on your new white shoes, the earth still revolves around the sun.  But that is the amazing part of it all.  It is the miracle of life.

Thank the Lord.

I started bike racing again.  That in itstelf is incredible.   Yet, it puts it all into perspective.

Gravel.  Travel.  Where to next?  Why the Tour of Gila!

Cycling is social, and if you know me, you also know I have the tendency to talk quite a bit.  Sometimes a a couple of bikes and a friend is the best therapy there is.

However, sometimes it isn’t about therapy.  It is about work. I become engrossed in my task, my structure, and my purpose.  Some days riding a bike is purely freeing, yet other days it is an hourly job.  Clock In. Do work. Clock Out. It is about rhythm, purpose and structure.  On these days, I might not be a joy to ride with, and I apologize in advance for this.  You will get the head nod or wave, but my attention is on power, cadence, and time.  I am at work.  I am focused.

Grumpy? Nah.  Only anxious about my next interval.  Where is the fun in that?  Tons of fun displayed in endorphins and those who like a little pain, structure and planning, will love it.  It is fun to me.

If you decide to ride behind someone else at their “job”, you should adhere to the unspoken rules and etiquette for “hopping” on an interval or another group ride.  It is all acceptable and fair, and is one of the trustworthy joys of cycling—company in numbers.  Feel free to partake in the speed and structure, but do so with some communication and respect.  Cycling is social, but sometimes you can only be social with your intent for that day.  Is it therapy or work?  It is probably both for me.  I crave the intervals, and I crave the company.

Some days it is a date my headphones in and the world at my fingertips…others, it is about a couple of bikes and good friends.

Work or Therapy?  You be the judge.

My Rules on “Latching On”:

1. Communicate your presence. This avoids snot sprays and singing out loud to Classic Country/Lady Gaga/Cheesy Pop.  It also announces you are not yet another creepily quiet Prius or stalking mountain lion or…who knows. Communication.
2. Ask. “Is it ok if I follow you for a while?” Don’t wait to apologize later.  Just ask.  “No” may in fact be the answer (but very rarely), and usually you will get a shrug of the shoulders, or a acknowledgement of approval.  The more the merrier.  Just ask.
3. State your intent. “I just want to hop on your wheel” “Can I steal a draft down the coast” “Do you mind if I follow you and check out that back paneling on your bibs for the next 10 miles? It appears you are sponsored by….would love to stare at that logo for the rest of my ride…” “I would love to follow you around, but promise to be quiet and stay out of the way.”
4. Avoid compliments that may be misinterpreted or misconstrued. “You have a HUGE draft!” “You remind me of the Budweiser draft horses I saw at the fair last night.” “You ride like a dude, are you?” “You must have a lot of anger problems” “Are you always this friendly?” “How did you get quads like that!?”  “You are a BEAST”
5. Explain your excuse. “I am late for a massage/babysitting/dinner/work, can I get a ride behind you into this gnarly headwind?” “My wife is gonna kill me if I miss Desperate Housewives tonight…again” “I am really important somewhere and other really important people are waiting for me, but I am not strong enough to battle this wind, which negates my importance at all” “I have a very short leash and I am at my limit.”
6. Stay out of the way. Do not pull through (unless “working together).  Do not surge followed by the inevitable slow down/blowup directly en route. If you don’t play by your “rides” rules, then you should to play by yourself, even if that means a decrease in speed.  Just stay safe and out of the way of the leader on a mission.
7. Offer gratitude. After reaching your destination, or blowing up, or altering your ride plan because you are about to blow up but want to hold on to some sort of appearance, thank your “ride”.  “Thanks for letting me join!” It’s quite simple.  You may not get a response if the other rider is deep into an interval.
8. Compliment. Insert a compliment to your draft.  “Sweet draft” “You are flying!” “I wish I had those legs…” “That was incredible, thank you, enjoy the rest of your ride”
9. Or don’t. Just make a graceful exit.  No fanfare.  No pomp and circumstance.  Just exit.
10. Avoid pick-up lines or future plans. “Do you race?”  “Do you ride here often”. “Can I get you a coffee after this?” Only Bob Roll can get away with that….

You have know been advised.  If you do not announce your presence, you are going to be susceptible to snot rockets, Lady Gaga singing, unannounced obstructions, and really hard intervals.  Enjoy the ride regardless!  It is all fun, and that is why we do it!  Some days are about focus and some days are about laughter.  I try to get both into my rides every day.

View from my office.

A birthday should not be limited to just one day, but an entire week.  It is now official.  I am my racing age.

Let the games begin.

Birthday Celebrations include but are not limited to the following:

1. Riding with an actual cupcake in your pocket

Official Birthday Ride: Blue Skies and Cupcakes

2. Good food. And lots of it.

We will take 2 of everything on the menu.

3. Swinging. Because I can.

4. Bocce ball, pool, shuffleboard…you name it.

5. Sombreros. Why not?

Enjoy the week!  Thank you for being a part of another year.