Alison Tetrick

Yesterday I rode my bike outside.  It felt like a revelation.  It was one of those moments.  Those moments where you appear normal to the rest of the world, but you are exuberant.  You are bursting at the seams.  No one knows where you have been, or where you are going.  You are anonymous, yet you are in middle of your very own revelation.  You are on an adventure.  You are conquering the world.  No one knows, but you want to share it with someone.  Anyone.  Yet everyone keeps going along their pace.  Their pace is a lot faster then mine.  They have mirrors on their helmets, and are wearing flourescent yellow, and they are at a pace that is mach speeds compared to mine.  Oh well.  I am still happy.  They do not notice that I am shining through my pores.

I had great plans.  I had the wind in my hair, and the sun on my back.  I was winning.  I don’t know what I was winning, but I was winning.  I had great plans.  No one could get me off the bike, not that I could get off of it anyway with a healing fractured pelvis.  Oh well.  Then, there I was.  12 minutes into my epic ride, and I realized, it was time to turn around.  Yes.  I was done.

I had a revelation.  It was 30 minutes outside.  It was 30 minutes of joy, of frustration, of realization.  It was worth it.  I went back on the trainer for 2 hours.  Trainer time.  But I had been outside.  Did you notice me?  Did you see the light from where you were?

Every once in a while you just start getting comfortable with the status quo.  You start getting into your groove of life, and let yourself get satisfied with the way things are.  It was such a shock to my system to go from the best form of my life to an invalid, or at least someone who was extremely mobile challenged.  The little things I took for granted were suddenly things I craved.  I would give my right arm to be able to walk around outside, or just go for a hike.  Well, at least I would give up my right pelvis if I hadn’t already done so.

Last week I was reconnected to the joy of sweating.  I forgot how much sweating can solve problems.  Maybe I am not solving the problems of the world, but at least I was finding some mental and physical peace to reconnect with the muscles of my body.

There is power in sweating, and when I discovered that I could do the elliptical trainer at the gym and actually produce the warming sensation of sweat from an increased heart rate, I was mesmerized.  And then it happened.  I remembered what it was like to be a member of a gym.  Oh yes.  I haven’t been in a real gym in years, but suddenly I was remembering being a gym rat, or as the Kiwi teammate of mine called it, gym bunny.  I could go from rotations from the elliptical, to the rower, to the recumbent bikes.  I missed being outside but I was able to catch up on some magazines and TV.  I was back sweating, even if I was in the gym.  It was funny how I had to go through my exercise wardrobe and find gym clothes.  What do people where to the gym?  My motto for each new activity is to have the right outfit.  I couldn’t wait to unearth a new gym outfit.  I love new activities!

From the trainer to the gym, I miss being outside.  I don’t love the orchestrated fans and air conditioning indoors, and I would much prefer the cool breeze of the West Marin coastline.  I would even take a torrential head wind over the fan on the elliptical, yet, I am happy.  I am moving, and I am happy.  I am healing, and I will be back.  I will remember this time as a time of going back to the basics, even if it is in the gym.

I am bionic. Or at least that is what I keep telling myself.

I went to the doctor for the 2nd time since the crash and I was convinced that the xRays would should healed bone.  Well, the xRays showed the bones healing, but apparently I still need to keep growing more bones.  Darn.  Calcium. Vitamin D. Grow bones, grow.

The good news about taking Calcium is that it comes in delightful chocolate chew flavors, and then also in a gummy bear variety.  Calcium never tasted so good.  Oh yeah, and in Greek Yogurt, and goat cheese, and….

I am on the trainer, twice a day.  Increments of 30minutes to an hour.  It is comfortable and I am able to get my cadence to 90rpms now.  I can do an elliptical, and I can swim.  If I swim at the community center, I can even swim in the “fast” lane.  I am so fast.

I went to physical therapy, and got some core exercises I can do.  I am meanwhile pleading with Kristin to not give me an off-season, and just work me into next year.  We will see.  She always has control of the situation.  She likes it that way.

So, I may still be bionic, but I am healing and enjoying sweating every once in awhile, even if it is at the gym.  The gym.  Yes.  I go to the gym.  My gym used to be West Marin, and now it is in an indoor environment, but I am not complaining.  It isn’t so bad.

I am not in bed, I am moving.  I am healing.  I am still bionic, I know it.

A lifetime ago...

Amber Neben, Olympian, World Champion, my teammate for the USA National Team at the Tour of NZL and Giro Donne  gave me some wise words recently.

She said to focus on what I CAN do, instead of focusing on what I cannot do.

Amber is incredible.  She is an inspiration, a role model, and a true professional.  Her career has been riddled with setbacks and injuries, and she has always risen from them stronger and more positive than ever.  I have so much to learn from her.

So, what exactly can I do with a fractured pelvis?  Not much is the answer.  Not much at all.  However, each day, this list keeps increasing.  I keep getting to do more and more!

1. I can WALK.

Yes, I woke up Monday morning and instead of reaching for my new best friends, my extra set of legs, my crutches, I walked to the bathroom.  Incredible.  Just woke up and walked. I felt victorious! There was suddenly a whole new world open to me!  I was mobile for the first time in 1.5 weeks.

2. I can SWIM.

I thought to myself, if I can walk, then why can’t I swim?  I jumped in the pool and swam.  Granted, it is with a pull buoy and gets incredibly monotonous, but at least I am moving.  Or so I tell myself.  These 1hr swims only remind me how much I hate swimming, and why I don’t want to be a triathlete!  I hate swimming!  I have spent a year trying to get my shoulders to appear smaller, and with each stroke I felt my upperbody muscles growing.  I started counting laps, counting minutes, counting backwards, writing my blog in my head, thinking about riding, thinking about a root canal…until it was 45 minutes.  Yeah.  A swim for an hour seems excessive.  45 minutes will do.

3. I can RECUMBENT BIKE.

I went to the gym to investigate what I can do.  I can do the cycling motion, but I am not quite ready to sit on my saddle. (I tried that, and was met with a painful reminder that my pelvis, is in fact, fractured, and it is part of my “sit bones”.  How convenient)  I attempted the recumbent bike.  I even tried the one with hand cycles too.  Oh yeah.  I was looking pretty sweet in the gym.  It is amazing what you are desperate to do when you can’t do much.  I didn’t break a sweat, but I got to move.  I think recumbent bikes are going to make a comeback.

4. I can BLOG.

But who really cares about the girl that used to bike race and be pretty good?  I can’t do much. Ha.

Anyway, I am trying to focus on the positives, but I am ready to get my heart rate up and get back on the bike.  I am getting antsy and ready to go, but I still have time to let this body heal.  I have new xrays on Tuesday to see the development.

Focus on what you CAN do, not what you cannot do.  Thanks, Amber.  Always the positive.

Most of you know that I grew up on a cattle ranch.  I am a cowgirl to the core.

My most fond memories are in the great outdoors where I learned to be tough, appreciate hard work, and use my imagination.  Yes, imagination.  We didn’t have a lot of toys growing up, but we had the entire land as our playground.  Nothing like playing Cowboys and Indians on real horses, chasing real Indians.  Ok, maybe the Indians weren’t real, but the horses definitely were.

My childhood best friend came to visit yesterday.  One of the best things about being a helpless girl with a broken pelvis is that you get visitors.  I like the company and the entertainment.  Who knows, maybe my imagination isn’t what it used to be but I struggle with the solitude of the injury.  I blame it on the computer.

Anyway, my friend was driving through and decided to stop in for a visit.  We were always kindred spirits growing up.  Blood sisters.  We were two cowgirls against the world.  And here we are 15 years later, and she just did her 2nd half-ironman.  Imagine that?  Spending years apart, and still finding similiar loves amongst being active, and riding bikes.  Kindred spirits.  I am proud of her accomplishements.  We still crave the adventure of the outdoors, the thrill of competition, and occasional horse back riding, even if most of our riding these days is on bikes.  We have great imaginations still.

What happened to that simple life?  The simple life where you could just escape in your world of imagination and have the victories that you wanted after the battles were fought.  There was always a happy ending, and boys were still yucky.  I wish I could have that simple life back at times.